Peace is never an absence of conflict, but the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. We live in a world of conflicts, and when human beings live together, conflict is inevitable, war is not.
Taking it all back to childhood, conflict resolution was easy. All you had to do was scream so loudly that an adult intervenes and ends it. Resolving conflict in adulthood gets a bit more difficult. It is not that it becomes complicated, but that it takes perseverance and patience.
Whenever a conflict arises, it means that there are truths which need to be addressed on each side of the battle. Resolving conflict is an educational process. To resolve that, you need to get people on both sides of the conflict involved in the dialogue. Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in conflict management. Below are easy and fast tips on conflict resolution;
- Be Prepared
Check your behavior when you start preparing to resolve. What areas are your hot buttons? Has anyone pushed them? So far, how have you handled the situation? How are you responsible for the matter?
Learn to own up. Take responsibility in the conflict for your part. Perform a little self-examination, a little soul searching, before you can talk it out with the other party.
Organize and plan what you want to say; this is not to say that you should memorize a speech, but visualize a peaceful, fruitful conversation.
- Don’t Wait for the Matter to Boil to Something Bigger
Whenever you conflict with anyone, attitude is a factor that can make the difference between deepening the relationship and damaging it. The sooner you solve the conflict, the easier it will be for you to resolve it. Waiting for too long breeds a certain kind of attitude as well as ego.
If a specific behavior causes the conflict, promptness will give you an example to refer to, keeping you from building up hostility. It as well gives the other person a great chance to understand the specific behavior you want to address.
- Share Your Feelings
Conflict comes about because of the clash of ideas and misuse of power, not to mention the inflammatory activities of bigoted and unscrupulous leaders. But it as well tragically arises from the inability to understand and from the powerful emotions which lead to fear and distrust out of misunderstanding.
In most cases, the real conflict is not about the facts, but the feelings. Sharing your feelings, as well as owning and caring about others’ feelings is the key to talking about conflict. And remember to talk about behaviors as opposed to personalities.
- Find a Neutral, Private Place
Addressing conflict stands a very low chance of succeeding when carried out in public. No one would like to be made a bad example of in public or embarrassed in front of peers. Eliminate the tension the conflict creates by bearing in mind that privacy will help you. Remember to correct privately and praise in public.
- Be Aware of Body Language
With actions speaking louder than words, bear in mind that you convey information without even opening your mouth to speak. Know the kind of messages which you are communicating to the other person by how you’re holding your body. Strive to convey peace, not close-mindedness or hostility.
You can control your body language through the following tips;
- Use a neutral tone, moderate speed, and volume which is conversational
- Relax your shoulder and neck muscles.
- Maintain eye contact with the other person
- Be conscious of your expressions and show with them
- Avoid absolutes like “always” and “never.”
- Identify the Problem
Give specific details and facts, include valid documentation if appropriate, your observations, and information from reliable witnesses, if appropriate.
After sharing your feelings about the situation, having described the problem, and expressing interest in resolving the matter, simply ask the other party how they are feeling about it. Do not assume! Ask! If possible and necessary, use a can/can’t/will/won’t performance analysis or a problem analysis tool.
- Listen With Compassion and Find a Solution Together
Listen actively, remembering that things are not always what they seem. Ask the other party for ideas on how to solve the problem. Resolving conflict does not mean changing the other person, but change is on an individual basis.
Know how to avoid conflict in the future. Suggest your ideas only after the person has shared their ideas.
- Express Confidence
Appreciate the other party for being open with you, expressing confidence that your relationship will be better after talking the problem out.
Therefore, mediation is one of the most effective tools for resolving conflicts and non-violence. It turns parties away from conflict, and towards compromise. Being at peace is thus very essential. Difficulties are thus meant to rouse, and not discourage. The human spirit grows strong by conflict, and should, therefore, resolve any disagreements that arise.